Fiddling with your phone, texting or scrolling through Instagram during a date is a sure way to send the wrong message. This type of behaviour is rude and shows her that she’s not important to you.
Always be punctual – treating your first date like a professional meeting shows that you respect her time.
1. Talk About Your Ex
Unless it’s a discussion of a mutual friend or it’s a topic you slide into obliquely, avoid asking your date about their ex on the first date. This can come off as jealous or possessive.
If your date can’t stop trash-talking their ex, it may be a red flag that they’re not over them yet. It could also be a sign that they’re still holding onto a lot of bitterness, resentment, or disgust from their breakup.
2. Talk About Your Bad Mood
If you’re in a bad mood it can make your date uncomfortable, and it will also be harder for them to connect with you. Talking about your problems sends a negative message and will give the impression that you are ungrateful.
It’s important to respect your date’s time and not keep her waiting. Showing up late shows that you don’t value her and could be uncaring. Fiddling with your phone also gives the wrong impression.
3. Talk About Your Past Relationships
Unless your date asks you to do so, it’s best not to talk about past relationships on the first date. This is because comparing your ex to your current partner can make your new relationship seem insecure or competitive.
Instead of talking about your ex, try asking questions that allow your date to get to know you on a deeper level. This will give them the opportunity to share about themselves, too.
4. Talk About Your Job
When it comes to first dates, there’s a lot of advice out there—on what to wear, where to go, and what to talk about. But what’s often overlooked is the importance of timing.
Bringing up topics like marriage and children early on your date can make it seem like you’re conducting an awkward interview instead of enjoying a pleasant evening together. Instead, wait to find out if they want to discuss these topics, then let them take the lead.
5. Talk About Your Ex’s Family
If your ex’s family has been a big part of their life, it may be hard to keep the friendship going after a breakup. But discussing your relationship with them on a first date can be unsettling and give your new date the wrong impression.
Besides being annoying, talking about yourself too much can come across as cocky or arrogant. It’s important to show that you’re interested in them too by asking them questions and listening attentively to their answers.
6. Talk About Your Past Relationships
It can be tempting to ask your date a plethora of questions during the first date. However, it’s important to remember that discussions should go both ways.
It’s also important not to give your advice unless your date specifically asks for it. Otherwise, it can come off as bitchy and judgmental. This is especially true when it comes to talking about your past relationships. Avoid sharing too many details about your ex, as it can make your date feel uncomfortable or raise red flags.
7. Talk About Your Ex’s Ex
A first date should be about getting to know a new person. It’s not about selling yourself or convincing them to give you a second chance.
Talking about your ex’s ex can be a mood killer. It can make your date think you’re not over them or that you’re desperate for a relationship. It can also show them that you’re not ready to put in the work that comes with a healthy relationship.
8. Talk About Your Ex’s Ex
It’s not your place to talk about someone else’s ex. Not only is it rude, but it can also be downright creepy.
Keep the conversation to yourself and focus on getting to know your date. Instead, tell them about how you’ve been doing lately—like your new hobbies, your trip to Mexico, your home improvement projects, etc. Show them how you’re not like your ex. That’s the most important thing.
9. Talk About Your Ex’s Ex’s Ex
Don’t talk about your ex or their ex during a first date. This will make them feel like you’re still in love with someone else or that your relationship is just a rebound.
Your date doesn’t want to hear about your ex’s problems, games, major incompatibles, wishy-washiness or any other bullshit that came with the breakup. Be mature and let it go. Instead, focus on your own growth and your current happy life.