It seemed like every time I turned around, one of my buddies was celebrating something with their girl. Even the guys I play ball with, every one of them had to leave practice early, at one point or another, because they’ve got to take their chick out to dinner, or that one’s fixing to propose, and one is trying to get all the booty time in before the baby comes.

Single Dads Need Romance, Too!
Single Dads Need Romance, Too!

All my bros were checking their phones for texts and missed calls from their partners. I couldn’t blame them. Once upon a time I was setting up candlelit dinners for my ex, and I was constantly checking my phone hoping that she’d sent me something sexy, instead of just berating me for being late again. But I was seriously starting to feel left out of life, you know? Everybody around me so busy with their relationships, and all I was doing was jerking off on my free days, waiting for my turn at visitation.

Then, one day at work, my buddy pulled me aside and told me that I “seriously needed to get laid”. I was like, yeah, I know, but how am I supposed to meet chicks between carpools and double shifts? He said to try this phone sex line. He used to rely on it, back before he got married, and said it was the easiest way to meet new women all the time, and that’s where he found his wife. She’s hot, too, let me tell you! So, I blew him off, of course, but later that night I dialed up the number and met the first girl I’d flirted with in a long time. Man, she made me feel like I had game! I started meeting all kinds of girls, and I’ve even hooked up with a few of them in real life. It fits right into my schedule because I can call up 24/7 and get connected with a real voice on the other end. There’s no commitment freaks, just hot chicks that need what I can give them. I AM BALLIN’!! You’ve got to try it!!